Today I was happy about being able to comfortably lift these 13kg dumbbells of mine and I did about 100+ odd bicep curls, so I was feeling pretty confident in my strength so I was throwing shit around and I somehow ended up smashing myself in the face with a macbook cause I somehow accidentally threw it at my own cheek.
Don’t even know how the fuck that happened. But it did. And boy, that shit hurt.

matthewsagan:

i’m great at guessing people’s weights here just sit on my face

man, nobody gives a fuck if your snotty ass little crib midget wears dresses despite being a boy or likes spiderman despite being a girl or whatever the fuck, that’s cool that you don’t shit on them for that (wow! nice job! :D guess who deserves a fucking gold medal for not being a cockbiscuit to your toddler you fucking retard ass motherfucker! :D :) :D) but you’re doing something a shitton times worse by posting them on fucking huge social networking sites for millions of people to see them you fucking idiots

the feels for Parents Just Don’t Understand really come on strong when your mum tells you you can’t spend the rest of the night listening to Will Smith cause you gotta wake up early for school B-(

why the fuck do americans call rice bubbles, ‘rice krispies’?

Well, today I figured I had that distichiasis thing that Elizabeth Taylor had.

It’s where you got two rows of eyelashes, and I guess that’s cool and all, that means I now have two ‘mutations’ since I also have central heterochromia, but at least now I know what the fuck was poking me in the eye all these past months lol

vanillish:

writing deep things on your cigarettes like “die young” or “why did they change aunt vivian halfway through fresh prince of bel air like did they think no one would notice”

(via brockfuckinglesnar)